Download E-books The New York City Cab Driver's Joke Book PDF

Heard any reliable jokes in recent times? Jim Pietsch, a true ny urban cabbie, has heard all of them -- from business-people, unemployed workers, Wall road legal professionals, prostitutes, writers, travelers, drug buyers and lovers...all from the again seat of his cab as he makes his method round manhattan urban. during this follow-up to the generally winning ny urban Cab Driver's comic story ebook, Jim Pietsch has prepare one other riotously humorous number of greater than four hundred jokes that's guaranteed to have each person guffawing.

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May possibly you clarify it to me? " '1\ bond," acknowledged the guy, "is whatever like u promissory observe on a personal loan . " ' 'Oh, '' I acknowledged. As we pulled as much as his vacation spot he acknowledged, ''Let me placed it this fashion: Do you will have any shares? '' "No," I acknowledged. "Do you could have any bills? " he requested. "Yes," I responded. "That's the difference," he stated as he passed me the fare and received out of the cab. I sat there for a number of moments scratching my head * * * A fanner has a hen that is going round screwing the entire animals within the barnyard. The hen retains this up for fairly it slow sooner than the fanner ultimately pulls him apart and warns him. "Look," the fanner says , "you had greater take it a bit more straightforward otherwise you 're vulnerable to screw your self to demise. " The chicken simply laughs on the fanner and is going out and has the entire chickens within the poultry coop. He then is going via the entire cows, then the pigs, etc, till he has been with all of the animals at the fann. He retains this up on a daily basis for weeks. Then sooner or later the fanner does not see the hen round the bamyard, so he is going trying to find him. Out above one in every of his 14lJ fields, the fanner sees a few vultures circling round and round. The farmer runs out and sees the hen mendacity spread-eagled at the flooring. "I knew it! " says the fanner. " I knew this is able to take place to you! Oh, why did not you hearken to me while I warned you? " The chicken opens one eye, issues upward, and says, "Shhh. they're getting reduce. " * * ,. 149 * ... a guy residing close to the Bronx Zoo wakes up one morning and appears out the window. There, sitting in < tree in his yard, is a huge gorilla. In a panic he appears to be like within the phone book for gorilla extenninators and reveals one directory. He quickJy dials the quantity, and whilst a guy solutions, he shouts, "Please hurry! i've got a gorilla in a tree in my yard! ' ' whilst the extenninator pulls up in entrance of the man's condo , the guy runs out excitedly, telling him that the gorilla hasn't moved in any respect. So the extenninator says, "Good. support me dump the truck. " The extenninator takes out of the truck a ladder, a baseball bat, an English bulldog, a wide piece of rope. and a shotgun. They take all these things round to the aspect of the home, and in advance of they around the comer to the yard, the extenninator stops. ' ' Okay," he says to the guy, "you're goi ng to one hundred fifty have to aid me with this. Now, i have performed this again and again ahead of and there is by no means been any challenge, yet you need to pay attention very conscientiously. " .. FtrSt i will pass round to the opposite part of the tree, at the back of the gorilla, positioned the ladder opposed to the tree, and climb up. subsequent i will hit the gorilla with the baseball bat and knock him out of the tree. Now, you can be conserving this English bulldog through the leash. whilst the gorilla hits the floor, you enable cross of the leash. This English bulldog bas been especially informed to do something and something merely. he'll run as much as the gorilla and chunk the gorilla's balls off. this can stun the gorilla, and whereas he's during this kingdom of outrage, you and that i will run up with the massive piece of rope, tie up the gorilla, and cargo him into the again of my truck.

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