By Bryden MacDonald
At the centre of the drama is Ambrose Archibald, an irredeemable reprobate and the kind of man who rants philosophically on the bar whereas mooching beer from his buddies. He’s a narcissist who thinks he’s God’s reward to ladies. And he’s having an affair with the captivating and gorgeous Mandy Menzies, who was once the highschool attractiveness queen yet is now caught in a wedding of comfort and a lifetime of boredom. Her housekeeper, Estelle Carmichael, has obvious all of it, yet her prickly external belies a loving center. The dryly humorous Freddy Durdle is definitely the right counter-
balance to over-the-top Ambrose.
All 4 oddballs look caught of their lives, yet searing sarcasm relieves the boredom and loopy, daily dramas reduction their fight to maneuver on and hold issues light
Cast of two ladies and a pair of men.
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I’m so bored. MANDY performs with a department on her new chair pricking her finger. Ouch. ESTELLE How a lot did you pay for this – chair? MANDY you love it? ESTELLE How a lot? 19 MANDY It’s made via an area artist. ESTELLE Is it cozy? MANDY It’s now not speculated to be. It’s paintings. It’s an artwork chair. ESTELLE I don’t get it. MANDY It was once a whim. I’m packed with whims. I crave event. I simply are looking to – inject my lifestyles with extra event. WALTER bangs. WALTER Who’s down there? Where’s my lunch?! ESTELLE Walter – it’s me. Estelle. WALTER the practical one. 20 I’ll guess you don’t desire thirty‐six goddamn “papier mâché” solar hats. Where’s my lunch? MANDY It’s coming Walter! I’m simply announcing see you later to Estelle. WALTER attempting to starve me won’t paintings. I lived on rations in Vietnam. I’ve eaten rats goddammit! MANDY Walter! i'm in dialog! i'm in freaking dialog! Are you attempting to force me crazy?! WALTER attempting? You broke loopy! MANDY He’s attempting to force me loopy. It’s like residing in a horror motion picture. good extra like a – extra like a mental mystery. ESTELLE I don’t get it. 21 WALTER in case you bite with objective this Kleenex isn’t so undesirable! MANDY See? He’s going to have a middle assault if he doesn’t sit back. You’re going to have a center assault for those who don’t chill out! WALTER I want! MANDY He was enjoyable. He’s turn into so unfun. It’s demanding to take. ESTELLE Mandy – you’ve made your mattress. That’s now not real. I made your mattress. And scrubbed your flooring. And now i must cross. MANDY Ambrose hasn’t known as in over every week. ESTELLE And that surprises you? You’re having an affair with a man‐child. MANDY issues frantically on the ceiling. 22 MANDY Shhh! Sh! Shhh!! i believe you’re jealous. ESTELLE Jealous? Yeah. correct. What i want in my lifestyles is a narcissist without activity who stares at my breasts while he speaks to me. You’re so fortunate. negative me. MANDY Ambrose is diversified. ESTELLE plops down the vacuum and sits on it. ESTELLE firstly – you’re speaking like you’re unmarried. You’re no longer. MANDY And I’m no longer the 1st woman on this planet to ever have an affair. ESTELLE mimics MANDY pointing to the ceiling. ESTELLE Shhh! Sh! Shhh! 23 MANDY Ha-ha. So humorous I forgot to giggle. you may get so holier‐than‐thou occasionally. I don’t declare to be ideal. ESTELLE ok. I’m sorry. You’re correct. yet Ambrose Archibald? quite? What does he do? He lounges round all day “thinking” incidentally. MANDY His head is simply within the clouds. ESTELLE good there needs to be clouds up his arse. He may perhaps by no means be accused of being a workaholic. He treats you're keen on dust. You take a seat right here all day and into the evening dressed like you’re going to the royal marriage ceremony and while there’s a knock on the door or a cell in the course of the evening you leap. And that can’t be effortless in these footwear. MANDY i'm even more than simply a booby name. 24 ESTELLE Booty. It’s booty name. MANDY That’s what I intended. and also you understand darn friggin good that Walter and that i are extra like – partners. have you ever by no means heard of a wedding of comfort? He couldn’t be by myself anymore. and that i wanted protection. I’m like a nurse – with very nice issues. ESTELLE All you do is scream at one another.