Download E-books Hullawrerr China!: The Best of Francie and Josie PDF

By Rikki Fulton

Francie & Josie started their very good occupation on the Alhambra Theatre in Glasgow in 1958. initially dropped at existence through Stanley Baxter, it was once to be the partnership of Rikki Fulton and Jack Milroy that introduced Francie & Josie reputation and fortune. adequate to shop for a couple of fish suppers, besides. Hullawrerr China! is a suite of Francie and Josie's funniest moments from their decades in showbusiness - together with the unique model of the mythical Arbroath comic strip. And as Francie & Josie acknowledged themselves - 'we have perspired thegether to make a couple of spectacles of wurselves, foisted wurselves on a hugely expectorant public and we're taking the opperchancity to offer ahead of your very eyes a construction which for sheer hypocrisy and slite-of-hand will dwell endlessly within the annuals of all maternity.'

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Francie: Aw, you’ve learn it earlier than. Josie: Aye, years in the past, while i used to be approximately seven. after all, I’ve grown up due to the fact that then. Francie: Oh, I don’t comprehend quite a bit. purely final week you wrote a fan letter to invoice and Ben the Flowerpot males. Josie: You by no means get something correct, do you? It wasnie to invoice and Ben that I wrote – Francie: Naw? Josie: Naw! It used to be to Andy Pandy and Teddy. besides, it’s approximately time you place that comedian away and became your brain, if you’ll pardon the expression, to raised issues. F’rinstance – the TATLER. I see the following that the Countess o’ Burntsugar and her captivating daughter, the Hon. Fanny Cartwright, are having fun with an afternoon on the races. Francie: Is that her there Josie? Josie: Naw, that’s one o’ the horses. That’s the Countess. Francie: Whit’s that she’s sittin’ on Josie? Josie: That … is a shootin’ stick. Francie: Shootin’ stick? Josie: Aye – Francie: Jings, i'm hoping it doesnie move aff whereas she’s sittin’ on it! Josie: in fact, you have an understanding of why we're by no means invited to any o’ those dos? (Francie shakes his head. ) we're not socially appropriate. And are you aware why we're not socially appropriate? Francie: Er … might it's simply because we’ve bought – (whispering) – B. O.? Josie: Naw, naw Fra-ancie! It’s simply because we don't have any of the social graces. Y’know, like bein’ in a position to inform Stork frae butter. And it’s approximately time we did whatever approximately it. Francie: Aye yet whit Josie? Josie: good, i think there’s a fella unfolded a sort-a allure tuition, in Morningside. imagine you an’ me’ll take a stagger up there an’ have a number of classes. Francie: yet Josie, how’ll we pay for them? Josie: effortless, we’ll do whit the nobs do, we’ll pay through cheque. Francie: Cheque? Josie: Aye, Provident Cheque! Come on … An immaculately dressed guy sits in his luxurious workplace, conversing at the phone. Posh Man: (Gushing) Why cer-tainly madam, I can be in basic terms too-too thrilled. let's imagine day after today at 3? well suited! Francie & Josie input and overhear the luxurious guy. Posh Man: a personal lesson? yet after all, how totally fascinating. Au revoir! (He catches sight of Francie & Josie) Hrm! Er … reliable morning gents. Isn’t this an enthralling morning? Josie: Oh, certainly captivating. and that i feel this is often the captivating allure tuition? Posh Man: Yes-yes. What am i able to do for you? Josie: good, we notion we’d prefer to polish up on our etticue. Y’know, sort-a dossier aff one or wee tough edges. Posh Man: You’ve come to the precise position gents. the thing of this attraction college is to introduce you to a global of gracious residing. you'll turn into artful … debonair … cha-arming! you are going to study the artwork of constructing well mannered dialog. “Ah! solid morning, pricey girl Millicent. (Francie & Josie flip to seem for the fictional girl. ) What sniffing climate we're having, what! I say, your melons might be ripe via now. ” See what I suggest? Josie: Oh aye, aye – that patter may still pass down rather well on the Palais. Posh Man: Then, after all, additionally, you will research the which means of deportment. Francie: Deportment? Posh Man: certain. Francie: Oh, we all know a’ approximately deportment – I had an Uncle that was once deported.

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